May 10, 2023 |
In November 2012, I attended a seminar about Play Therapy which was facilitated by PhilPlay. Before that day, I did not have any clear idea about Play therapy but after completing the three-day seminar, I can say that it helped me become a better psychologist and more to it, a better person.
I am not writing this to share with you the techniques or the concepts I learned because it would take too much time, practice, and expertise to do that. I am writing this now to impart to you some life lessons I realized while undergoing the training.
1. Our deepest emotions cannot be captured by words.
People tend to filter what they want to say or show to other people. It is good to watch out for the words that come out of our mouths but sometimes the things that we can’t talk about or the feelings which we cannot express verbally are the ones which are more precious. By this, we should learn how to be sensitive with other people. With their simple hand movement, nod, hand shake, blink or any other simple gestures, we may see how they really are and how they really feel. Sometimes they say that they are okay but when you look in their eyes, it’s actually screaming NO!
2. Helping people with their problems does not mean that you should solve their problems. Helping people means EMPOWERING them to solve their own problems.
One of my favorite motto used by counselors is:
“Help the people help themselves.”
I, as a psychologist, or let us say even just a friend, cannot give solutions for my friends’ problems because even if I can empathize with the situation, we are still different from one another. We have different personalities which makes us unique in handling our problems. What you can only do is to empower, help, and guide them to think carefully. Empowering them means making them feel that they can do it and they have the power to decide for themselves. Show them that they have the ability to do it. Let them do it their way and not your way.
3. R-E-S-P-E-C-T
We usually hear and use the word RESPECT for elderly people. They are old enough and they have gone through a lot of experiences that is why we honor them. One thing I realized from the seminar is that even children need respect. Children have their own pacing in the things they do everyday and just by respecting how they work, how they do things, and how long it will take for them to accomplish an activity is a way of respecting them. Just by merely asking if you can have one of their candies, if you could play with his or her toys, or even asking permission to kiss them is something they would surely appreciate. They will feel that they are respected in a way.
4. Even if you are always busy helping other people, do not forget to take care of yourself too.
In my profession as a psychologist, everyday we face the challenge to guide people to know more about themselves. A lot of people say that “You should be like this or like that.. because you are a psychologist” or “You should know what to do because you are a psychologist.”
Some people think that as a mental health professional, we do not have problems anymore because we know how to solve them immediately. What they don’t know is that we, ourselves, sometimes also need someone to listen to and help us clear our mind.
No matter how many people we do sessions with everyday, at the end of the day we are still humans who need time to rest and have some time alone. We still have to leave a part of us that is not consumed by the problems of other people. This is a reminder to pause, rest, and pamper yourself from time to time.
May 10, 2023 |
Some people resort to self-harm when they feel some unwanted emotions and they would like to distract themselves from it.
In this article, you can see the other reasons for doing self-harm and some coping activities you can do instead of harming yourself.
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May 10, 2023 |
I believe every person comes to a point wherein you are starting to ask questions about your life.
Questions like…
- Am I proud of what I am right now?
- Do I inspire people?
- Did I do something that can make myself and my family proud?
- Can I consider myself successful?
When you hear the success stories of your friends, how do you usually feel about them? Most of the time, you feel happy for them but sometimes it sparks questions about yourself and how you are doing in life.
Remember that you are different from them. You have different interests and skills. You grew up in a different environment. You have different opportunities. So it would be unfair for you to compare yourself to them.
Looking back at the questions above, I realized a few things about how we can approach life.
1. Hone your own craft.
We have different crafts and talents to hone. Not everyone is made to be a scientist nor everyone a doctor. You should not force yourself to be like your friends because you are not them. You have a different set of skills and interests. Remember that you cannot be the best at what they are doing because you are not the best person for that. You are passionate, deliberately seeking for and on fire about something that others are not. And that is what you should be pursuing..
2. Be faithful to one.
Being faithful is not just for romantic love. This can also be applicable to what we do. Some people may have tried doing a lot of things just to impress other people without actually knowing what you truly want or what you are truly interested in. Have you heard the figure of speech “jack of all trades, master of none”? Maybe, instead of trying to be like that, why not try to be the “specialist”, focused on one thing and become the best at it.
3. Run the race at your own pace.
Not everyone would be successful at the same time. Not all people become successful at the age of 25 nor 30. It is not about the number of years you are living but it is about discovering your own passion and being determined to pursue that. It is not about working hard everyday but it is about embracing your purpose and calling in this world.
4. You are the captain of your life.
A lot of people may influence you along the way to your success. They may give their opinions and judgments about the things that you are going through but remember that they are not in control of your life. You still have the last decision because you are the one going to benefit or fail if you follow them. Do not let other people dictate where your ship will go because when the time comes that they don’t care anymore, you may end up feeling lost and nowhere to go.
5. Take calculated risks.
A lot of times decisions go together with risks. Many people are afraid of risks. I believe that risks just become scary if you are not sure if you really want it and if you do not have plans regarding that decision.
When taking risks, you should know deep down in your heart that it is what you are desiring for. When you are sure and when you settle your mind on that decision, you will have peace and the feeling that no matter what the outcome is, you will still go on with your life.
You may not yet know the answers for the questions I raised above but I hope that someday you can go back to this post and say YES to all those questions. If this is not yet your time for success, believe that you are a work in progress and every day is one step closer to it.
May 10, 2023 |
It is important to take care of yourself mentally and emotionally.
Here are some ways on how you can improve these aspects of your life.
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May 10, 2023 |
Are you having difficulty managing the demands of society and your everyday life?
Here is a self-reflection from Brene Brown about managing stress and burnout and also prioritizing relationships over putting on a show.
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May 10, 2023 |
Are you feeling sad or down most of the time?
Check out this article about depression. Here, you can assess if you have signs of depression and also get to know some ways you can deal with it.
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May 10, 2023 |
You may hear about self-care frequently because it is becoming a trend nowadays.
Take a look at this article and see that it is actually more than a trend and how it is significant in the development of your well-being.
Included here are types of self-care, benefits of self-care, and examples of some self-care routines.
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May 10, 2023 |
Mental health is given more emphasis now, especially since many people become overwhelmed by the issues in our society.
This article is a good reminder of what mental health truly is, why it is important, and some warning signs that you might have a mental health problem and need some help.
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May 10, 2023 |
Have you ever heard the word gaslighting? It is actually a form of manipulation that usually happens in an abusive relationship.
Get to know more about the signs of gaslighting and what to do if someone is gaslighting you.
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May 10, 2023 |
Do you know that there is good anger and bad anger?
Check out their difference in this article and see some proper anger management activities you can easily do.
Also, provided here are pre and post activities to help you gain insight into the topic.
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